How is Performing on Dancing With the Stars Like Going Through A Divorce?
Okay, so I’ll admit it. I just finished watching the premier of this season’s Dancing with the Stars. It was entertaining as always and an interesting mix of people. One thing that stood out to me in the judge’s comments was how important it is to make the connection with your partner and with the audience – that even if your technical dance skills are fantastic, it doesn’t matter, because the audience notices the “feeling” of it.
And then there are some celebrities who maybe don’t have very good dance skills, but they sure do know how to connect and we can all tell how much fun they’re having when they’re out there. And we tend to like them just as much, if not more, than the ones who have better talent.
This reminded me of how important it is when you’re going through all of the emotional ups and downs of a divorce to remember that your audience is often your kids. Remember that they are watching what you’re doing and they’re listening to what you’re saying, and most importantly, they’re picking up on the vibes and all the unspoken messages that you’re sending.
If you’re telling them that everything is just fine, but you’re extremely stiff and tense, and your lips are pursed, they’re not going to believe you. And if you’re short and snippy with your ex when you talk to him/her, your kids are certainly going to notice (and not like it).
So make an effort to be aware of the feelings and messages you’re sending out, particularly when your kids are observing. If they’re the judges of how you’re dealing with divorce, what paddles would they hold up for you? 4? 7? 9?
Keep striving for that 10….it’s worth all the effort.
(and when you have a really bad day, worthy of a 4, just learn from it and keep working on your new behaviors until they’re more natural)